This morning, after a string of events I won’t talk about now, I found myself walking to the el train from a friends house in the bitter cold of an early Chicago morning. It wasn’t too windy for once & the sun was out & shining, so it was actually kind of a nice time for me to walk by myself & reflect on the morning. My life certainly isn’t perfect right now, but it’s not bad either. At some points I feel like it’s better than when I moved here 7 months ago & at others, it feels worse. But this morning on my walk to the el, it just felt okay. I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t sad either. I’m the type of person that feels each one of my emotions so intensely that when I’m even remotely happy, I’m ecstatic but if I’m having a little bit of a bad day then it’s the end of the world. So just feeling okay & at ease is something that is pretty rare to me. But this morning, the feeling completely consumed me.
I stopped & got a coffee from Dunkin & I waited for the train. It was such a simple moment, but it was honestly beautiful. The sun was peaking through the rafters of the train stop & the skyline of Chicago was perfectly visible in the distance. There weren’t many people out, as everyone in this city is probably still in bed hungover or the early risers are already at brunch or sweating through their workout classes, so I was able to get a seat on the train & relax. It’s small moments like these that I try to grab a hold of & enjoy while I can. It may not seem like much, but it was enough to soothe my constantly frantic & anxious mind. I was able to put all of my worries aside for a second & just enjoy the moment. I’m hopeful that there are many more of these moments to come.
in search of something better ~ 