It happened; I’ve finally had enough.

If you asked someone who knows me to describe me, one of the first things that they would say is that I’m a nice person. Yes, this is a good characteristic to have, but for me, it’s almost to the point that it’s a flaw. I don’t always stand up for myself, I tend to let people walk all over me, and I often have trouble saying no to people.

As you all know, lately I’ve been trying to find happiness and my place in the world, and I’ve come to find that it’s extremely hard to do this while being too nice. Sometimes you just have to say no. You have to put someone in their place when they treat you wrong. You have to stand up for yourself. Otherwise, people aren’t going to respect you. They’re going to use you. They’re going to take and take and take as long as you continue to give.

I’m not sure what came over me, but this week something in me snapped. It was probably just a build up of different events where others have taken advantage of my kindness and mistaken it for weakness. A mixture of not being appreciated for all that I do at my job, not being taken seriously by friends, not getting back what I put in to my love life, my family also not taking me seriously. Whatever it was, I hit my breaking point and I am finally starting to realize that I deserve more than what I’m getting out of people. I’ve always had somewhat low self esteem and settle for less. But I am done with that. I’m done with settling. I want what’s best for myself. I want to be happy and I want what I deserve. It’s time for me to start saying no to the things that I don’t want to do. Time to cut the people out of my life that don’t treat me right. Time to stop bending over backwards for people who put little effort into our relationship.

Self respect is a beautiful thing. I’m so happy that I’m finally realizing that I deserve it.

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silver linings

One of my biggest goals for myself is to try to stay positive amidst all of the bad things that are going on. Whether there be two bad things or twenty. I decided to start making lists of all of the good in my life randomly. Here’s my first one.

Things to be happy about:

  • I got a new job and so far I really like it
  • I can see myself becoming great friends with the people that I work with
  • my skin is almost completely clear
  • my relationship with my older sister is better than ever
  • I’m finally starting to move on from the guy that I couldn’t stop thinking about all summer
  • I’m getting my tan back and everyone has been complimenting me on how good my skin looks
  • I’ve stopped putting up with inconsistent people in my life
  • I finally am realizing and going after what I deserve
  • I’m setting real goals for my future
  • I’m keeping my options open and trying to take more risks
  • Overall, I’m finally focusing on making myself happy