I’m still with her

The past 24 hours have been sad, disappointing, and extremely disheartening. I don’t usually display my political views publicly, but I feel so strongly about this election that I cannot contain myself.

Whether anyone likes it or not, Hillary Clinton is one of the most significant female figures in all of American politics. She has undoubtedly made many mistakes, but still, she was the most qualified candidate of this election. However, she still lost. Here’s the thing though: she didn’t lose to another politician, to someone who had better ideas and intentions for our country than she did, to someone who loves American more than her. She lost to a misogynist, homophobic, racist (the list goes on and on) ex reality tv star and business owner. She lost to a man who is awaiting trial for RAPE, a man who openly hates Muslims and Latinos and then denies saying any of it.

You know, I am just really at a loss for words here. How did we back track this far that we decided to elect a man who is fueled by hate to run our country?

I saw a quote earlier from a young woman about my age that they interviewed once the results of the election came out that said, “this election made me realize that America is not what I thought it was.” I could not agree more with this statement more and it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that mothers all over the United States will have to explain to their daughters how it is possible for a man who treats women as if they are nothing more than inferior sex objects is running our country. It breaks my heart that little boys across the United States will look up to the new leader of our country. A man who could not even tweet for himself on his own twitter account the day before his election, because his campaign was too afraid that he might say something stupid. A man who speaks of women so vulgarly I don’t even want to type out what he said, yet is the same man who is supposed to construct rules that will determine women’s health. 

What a joke.

If nothing else, this election was a huge slap in the face to every woman in America, whether they want to accept it or not. We had two choices. A woman who was clearly fit for the job, and a man who is under qualified and quite frankly, an idiot. So what did we do? We gave it to the man. Just like so many other Americans, I am angry. Bur I will not sit around and do nothing. I will fight more fiercely for my rights than I ever have before. I have never felt so inspired by someone as much as I have been by Hillary Clinton after she conceded from the election. She new that she was robbed, yet, she still conceded from the election as gracefully as she possibly could have. Even though she had every right, she didn’t stand before us and say, “What is wrong with you America? You just royally f*cked up!!” But instead, she stood before us and she said, “I’m sorry.” The woman WE let down is apologizing to US. That is the most American woman thing to do; to apologize to someone who does YOU wrong. And for that Hillary, I thank you. I thank you for reminding us to be the bigger person. But at the same time, to not lose hope. To never give up no matter how many times you fail or hear “no.” To always, always, always fight for what you believe in, and to never lose sight of what it is that you are fighting for. You are a strong woman and you don’t get the credit that you deserve. When you said in your speech that you were proud to be the champion of girls everywhere, you were absolutely right about that. You are my champion and I am still with her.

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It happened; I’ve finally had enough.

If you asked someone who knows me to describe me, one of the first things that they would say is that I’m a nice person. Yes, this is a good characteristic to have, but for me, it’s almost to the point that it’s a flaw. I don’t always stand up for myself, I tend to let people walk all over me, and I often have trouble saying no to people.

As you all know, lately I’ve been trying to find happiness and my place in the world, and I’ve come to find that it’s extremely hard to do this while being too nice. Sometimes you just have to say no. You have to put someone in their place when they treat you wrong. You have to stand up for yourself. Otherwise, people aren’t going to respect you. They’re going to use you. They’re going to take and take and take as long as you continue to give.

I’m not sure what came over me, but this week something in me snapped. It was probably just a build up of different events where others have taken advantage of my kindness and mistaken it for weakness. A mixture of not being appreciated for all that I do at my job, not being taken seriously by friends, not getting back what I put in to my love life, my family also not taking me seriously. Whatever it was, I hit my breaking point and I am finally starting to realize that I deserve more than what I’m getting out of people. I’ve always had somewhat low self esteem and settle for less. But I am done with that. I’m done with settling. I want what’s best for myself. I want to be happy and I want what I deserve. It’s time for me to start saying no to the things that I don’t want to do. Time to cut the people out of my life that don’t treat me right. Time to stop bending over backwards for people who put little effort into our relationship.

Self respect is a beautiful thing. I’m so happy that I’m finally realizing that I deserve it.

what i hate more than anything

It breaks my heart to see people’s lives affected negatively by drugs again and again. It seems like almost everyday I hear something about how a friend or a friend of a friend is taking some type of prescription drug that they’re not prescribed. Having come from a family where addiction runs deep, I know just how dangerous prescription drugs are and how giving into them every now and then can end up leading to a life long struggle. I go to a Big Ten college that has a student population of over 45,000. It’s a predominantly wealthy school and drugs are everywhere. The party scene here is huge and so is the demand for drugs. Everyone I know is constantly surrounded by them so it’s no wonder that so many people here do them. But whether you’re at a college surrounded by rich kids who love to get messed up or out in the real world working a 9 to 5 job, prescription drugs are everywhere and insanely easy to get a hold of. The real tragedy about them is how addicting they are and how they completely change the personality of the person on them. I’ve watched people lose everything from their family to their teeth just from prescription drugs. They completely change a person. I really can’t stress that enough.

wednesday rants.

I’m frustrated. Frustrated with the fact that college students are supposed to pick a major and make a decision that will affect your entire life quite heavily, yet,  your early twenties is one of the most constantly changing times in your life. It’s the time that you figure out just who you really are and what you want. Most people don’t know by their mid twenties so how in the hell am I supposed to make a decision at 19 about what my career will be? About what I will wake up every morning and spend the majority of my time throughout my life doing? When you really think about it, it’s such a dumb concept. I’m a senior in college right now, and although I have picked a major and I do thoroughly enjoy it, I still don’t know if I can see myself doing it for my entire life. I don’t know. The whole concept just doesn’t make sense to me.