With the combined rise of social media & the new openness surrounding talking about one’s mental health, self care is something that I have heard a lot about lately. I never really thought much about the topic of self care, because I thought that it was always a given that you should take care of yourself in order to live a happy and healthy life. But something that I have recently learned, is that self care isn’t just about eating your vegetables and keeping up on attending your doctors appointments. I came across the quote below on Stephanie Shephard’s instagram story a couple of months ago. If you aren’t aware of who Steph Shep is, she was the once long time assistant to Kim Kardashian. The quote was rumored to have been posted after Kim fired Steph for some differences that the two could not settle. Whether you know what I’m talking about or not, I think that the quote posted speaks volumes to what the importance of self care really is.
Yes, self care can be eating your vegetables and going to checkups, but it could just as easily be eating a whole pizza by yourself or skipping out on a scheduled appointment in order to take a minute to do nothing. Self care is doing the thing that you need most in that moment. It could be anything as simple as turning off your phone if you need an escape, being 10 minutes late for work because you purposely got off on the wrong train stop in order to have a couple of extra minutes to yourself, or even laying on the floor in the middle of your room on a summer afternoon with the windows open. Or it could be much more than that. It could be spending all of your savings on a trip that is going to make you happy, it could be letting go of a person who you love but you know that is not right for you, or it could be spending an ungodly amount of money on something that you don’t need but that you want. My point is, self care could be a wide variety of things. It just depends on what you need most at the time. What that is today may not be the same thing that you need in the morning, next Tuesday, next fall or even 2 years from now. But regardless of what it may be or when it is that you need it, it is so so important to always take the time to do it. Even if it may not seem like much, it really does make a difference. I think the rule of thumb should be to treat yourself like you would treat a significant other whom you absolutely adore; give yourself that same amount of love and affection. Take the time to acknowledge that you deserve the little things and the big things too, whatever they may be.
Before you read this, I just want to say I don’t really know where I’m going with it. It’s just kind of a rant, so bear with me.
It’s one of those days where I woke up in a good mood, but everyone is mad at me. And for the dumbest reasons. For example, my sister is mad I didn’t call her back soon enough; my friend is mad I didn’t text her back; and my roommate is mad that I went out last night even though she couldn’t. The cause of most of these problems were caused by how awful I am with my phone. Sometimes I just zone everything out and don’t reply to texts for days. It’s not that I’m purposely ignoring someone or trying to be rude, I just would rather live my life without my eyes being glued to my phone screen. I thought that was a good thing, but people get really mad at me for it. But this isn’t a rant about how dependent the world is on technology, it’s about a realization that I had upon finding out that everyone is shitty with me today.
I don’t care. I don’t care that anyone is mad at me. I don’t care that I didn’t text anyone back. I don’t care that my roommate (who is also my best friend) is being extremely petty and immature. I’ve been so sad for the past couple months or so. I’ve been going through a kind of breakup (we didn’t date officially so I don’t know if I can use the term breakup), I’ve been dealing with a lot of family issues, and I’ve also “broken up” with a few of my friends. But I’m finally starting to feel okay. Now that I am starting to feel like myself again, I’m done dealing with negativity. None of these things will even matter in another week so why waste my energy worrying about them now?
What’s changed you may ask? Well i’m still not over the guy I ended things with, but I’m getting there. I think I’m almost okay with being just friends, because we’ve both made it clear that we still want each other in our lives. And even if it didn’t work out how I wanted it to, I found my first love and that’s beautiful. As far as my family goes, things are getting better but overall, I’ve learned to let go of what I can’t change. I’ve also realized that I can’t fix everyone else’s problems and constantly worrying about it isn’t going to do anything either. When it comes to the friends I’ve lost, I mean it sucks but people grow apart and that’s life. I’ve made a lot of new ones lately at work so maybe that’s why I’m more okay with it now too.
I want to be happy again and I’ve come to realize that in order to get there, I need to be a little selfish. I need to put my own needs first and love myself entirely before I can love anyone else. If that means ignoring a text for a couple hours because I’m more interested in what I’m doing at that moment, then I don’t see anything wrong with that. I’ve always thought that being selfish was an awful thing to be, but sometimes it’s just necessary. I’m just sick of putting others first when they don’t think twice about me before doing something.