10 minutes to Linden

I had expected to get to your new apartment in the city & for so much to have changed. I expected you to be different. I expected everything to be different. But not much had.

So many things were the same. The way that we acted towards each other. Your bed and light blue bed sheets. The jokes that we made with each other. You’re laugh and the smell of your skin. 

That was the first time that I had seen you in 8 months. Not that we haven’t stopped talking, I hear from you every now and then & we still snapchat pretty often. I’m not really sure how I feel about everything yet. I mean I did just leave your apartment an hour ago, but I’m curious to see how I’ll feel when I wake up tomorrow. I’ve been waiting for this night for months on end. Not this particular night I guess I should say, but just to see you in general. I had so much to say to you that I didn’t get to express, but I’m not worried. Something tells me that this won’t be the last time that I’ll see you. Something tells me that there will be many more nights like tonight. But part of me isn’t even sure that I still want to tell you all of the things that I had previously planned on saying to you. For so long, I thought that you were it. But something about to night makes me feel like maybe you’re not. Like there’s so much more out there for me and I need to focus more on myself. I need to try new things and meet new people. Possibly fall in love with someone that’s not you. For the first time in over a year, I’m more excited about what’s to come for me, rather than what’s to come for us. 

Views from where I want to be

 

I honestly have no idea where it stemmed from, but I have an obsession with apartments and hotel rooms with views like this. After I graduate college and start my career, I have no idea where I’ll end up. I just know that I do not want to go back to Indy. I want to be emerged in a city, preferably a big one, where I don’t know many people and will have the opportunity to create a new name for myself. A clean start. When it comes to where, I’m keeping an open mind and am just seeing where life takes me. However, there is one requirement that I want for my future life. As weird as it may sound, I want to end up in an apartment with huge windows and a nice view like one of these overlooking a city. I know that I won’t be able to afford it right away, but it’s a big goal that I intend to accomplish at least by the time I’m 25 or 26. I want to wake up in the morning and be greeted by sunlight coming through my window overlooking a huge buzzing city. I want to look out and see hundreds of people going about their lives and be high up enough for no one to even be able to acknowledge me. The idea of being in a huge city, but also being able to overlook everything from a distance while being on my own. There’s just something about the thought of it that I love.