For the past 5 months or so, I’ve been in a strange funk. I don’t know how else to describe it, other than to say that my mind has just been cloudy. I can’t pinpoint a reason as to why this is, but I’m going through a lot of transitions in every aspect of my life right now, and I think that may be why. This “funk” has had an impact on a lot of areas of my life, but one that it’s affected the most, is my writing. Writing has always come easy for me, and it’s a big part of my every day life. Usually, I can write pages and pages about anything and still feel like I could keep going. But as of lately, every time that I think of a topic that I want to write about, I sit down at my computer and my mind just goes blank. It’s like I can’t find the words to say. I barely write on here at all anymore. If I ever do write these days, it’s usually a paragraph or so in my journal or a note in my phone when I get a random idea. I’ve also been thinking about switching up my page a little bit which has been holding me back from writing as well. Anyways, last night something happened that made it a little easier for me to write this.
Last night, I went out with my roommate for my 23rd birthday. We were going from bar to bar just feeling the night out and ran in to a couple of our old friends. One of them was her boyfriend’s old roommate, and the other was a guy that we both went to high school with and had somewhat been in the same friend group with for a semester or two of college. We ended up on a rooftop bar, drinks in hand, deep in conversation with both of these guys. My roommate was sitting across from me with her boyfriends old roommate. They were deep in a conversation about climate change. My roommate is very liberal and her boyfriend and most of his friends are pretty conservative. So whenever we all end up in the same place and are intoxicated, she turns every conversation into some type of political debate. I, on the other hand, was sitting next to the guy that we had both went to high school with. Him and I have a little history together; we both had crushes on each other but it didn’t work out because the circumstances at the time were just too weird. Anyways, he’s a pretty unique guy. I don’t think hipster is the right word to describe him, but it’s something comparable. He has a lot of family in Greece and spent most of last year traveling through Europe. We talked about everything from whether or not we believed in astrology, religion, and our ethnic backgrounds to what our plans were for after college. It was one of those conversations that inspired me and gave me hope for the new page of my life that I’m about to start. I told him my plan for what’s next for me (moving to Chicago not really knowing anyone or having a set plan) and he reassured me that I wasn’t crazy. He reminded me that in order to get to where you really want to be, that sometimes you have to take chances and make choices that may seem crazy to others and sometimes to yourself. He also pointed out that Chicago is a city full of opportunity and if you want something there, you have to put yourself out there and go for it. Which is what I’m doing. I have really been doubting my decision to move and just about every other decision that I’ve been making lately. So it was extremely reassuring to hear from another person, whose opinion I value, that I’m not doing so bad after all.
I think it’s little things in our every day lives that make the most influence. A simple drunken conversation with an old friend completely changed my mindset. That may sound silly, but it did, and I can’t explain it. It’s funny because as I sat on the roof of that bar last night, I was surrounded by so many people. I often forget how small I really am in the grand scheme of things and forget that all of these people around me are going through things as well. Some of them may be similar to me, some not as bad, and some a lot worse. Kind of makes me wonder if anyone else in that bar last night also got a little piece of enlightenment.