With everything going on with my family, and with the fact that they are all spread across the globe right now, I’m not really in the Christmas spirit. I’m honestly looking more forward to New Years Eve. I work a double that day (what’s new), but I’ll be with all of my work friends, and they have come to feel like a real family to me in the past couple of months. Anyways, I’ve been trying to plan what we’ll all do after work that night and what sequin covered attire I will wear. And of course since it’s going to be New Year’s Eve, I can’t help but wonder who will be my New Year’s kiss or if I will even have one for that matter.
Anyways, this whole train of thought brought me to reflect on last year’s New Years Eve. My old roommates and I hosted a party at our house in our college town and that night still is one of the most fun nights I’ve ever experienced in college. My midnight kiss that night was from a good friend, and it was more to be funny than anything else. They say that the person that you kiss on New Year’s Eve is who you’ll spend the rest of your year with. (Yes, I know I’m extremely superstitious and cheesy and I romanticize everything) I feel like for me, this actually held true. I spent a lot of 2016 spending my time on the wrong people. So me kissing a friend who I obviously knew wasn’t right for me, was a metaphor for the rest of my year. Here’s my reasoning.
I spent all of 2016 hung up on a guy who moved away and I knew it couldn’t work out blah blah blah you all know this story already. I also spent so much of my time trying to keep old friends around who put in no effort and quite frankly, just weren’t very good friends.
So here’s what I propose. Regardless of who I kiss on New Years Eve, I need to spend 2017 focusing more on myself and figuring out what it is I want to do and where I want to end up. I need to stop trying to please people who treat me as if I don’t matter. I need to stop wasting my time loving people who are unappreciative of the love and care that I give them. I work hard. I try to be positive all of the time. I try to help others as much as I can. I’m not a bad a person. So what is it going to hurt if I’m a little selfish? My goal for 2017 is to love myself so much that it doesn’t matter if someone else does.