2 steps forward, 5 steps back

Tonight at work, I randomly smelled the same scent that I would smell when I would walk into your apartment. It was the strangest thing, considering you moved out in August and I’ve barely seen you since. I stood there for 3 or 4 minutes trying to pin point what it was made of before I lost it.

I’ve been doing so good lately with my attempts at getting over you. I’ve started to see other people. I’ve stopped reaching out to you first. I’ve tried to put you in the back of my mind and I’ve succeeded a few times. But this weekend has been especially hard. Maybe it’s just the time of year. This exact time last year was the first night that I ever spent with you. I knew right away that it was special. Different. Or maybe it’s because everyone went back home for break and I’m stuck here, alone, for work. It’s also the holiday season and “cuffing season” and now that it’s starting to get cold, I miss you more than I have since the summer. I’m imagining you taking someone else ice skating and to the tree lighting in Chicago and it makes me nauseous. The thought of you with someone else is almost physically painful. I know that I need to forget you. I just don’t want to.

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