Even more self criticism

You would think that Lena Dunham is paying me to promote her tv show, Girls, as much as I reference it in my writing. Then again, for that to happen people would actually have to be reading my blog (ha!). But the whole concept of the show is a group of lost twenty-somethings trying to find their place in the world, and that’s kind of the point that I’m at right now. Anyways, the farther that I get into the show, the more I start to dislike the main character, Hannah. It almost makes me want to stop watching it as much, because Hannah also happens to be one of my favorite characters. After a little thought, I realized why I disliked Hannah. It’s because all of her negative traits, are also my negative traits. Being the already majorly self conscious person that I am, acknowledging my flaws makes me anxious and uneasy, even though I do it every other minute of the day. But seeing them so well played out on screen, makes it a million times worse for me to take in.

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Hannah is a dreamer and a writer. Both two okay traits that I also see myself as. But she is also selfish. She struggles with anxiety and being happy. She has a deep need to be loved and looks for it in everyone she meets. She doesn’t always value herself and feels unattractive. Basically, here self esteem is shit. She blames the world for her problems when really she just makes shitty decisions all of the time. She finds it hard to put her heart on the line and to be completely honest when it comes to relationships. She often puts herself above her friends and family. I identify with all of these traits as well.Deep down, I hope that I am not as flawed as I think I am. But I am able to recognize and accept all of these things about myself. I am able to identify my flaws and I try to work on them when I get the chance. If nothing else, that is at least one strength that I have.

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